So Close And Yet So Far
As some of you may have already read in my earlier post- God Bless My Surgeon, a wonderful doctor whom I'll call Dr. M. agreed to do surgery on me to stop a bleeding disorder I have. One that I've dealt with for many years, and has resulted in several blood transfusions and near-death experiences.
This surgery is scheduled for May 9th. Something in which I was very happy and relieved to hear. Finally an end to the monster that is forever stalking me and trying to claim my life! And then there is this...
Houston we have a problem! A minor complication...I'll be dead before May 9th and as far as I know surgery really doesn't help corpses. My disorder has blown fully out of control as if it knows that this is it's last hoorah and last chance to take me out before the surgery. I have had two shots, the second one weaker than the first due to the time line between them, to control it, but I'm having internal hemorrhaging all the same and I grow weaker by the hour. I suppose that I'll go to the hospital tomorrow, but grudgingly and on the brink of death for I have no desire to be back there again so soon. And my doctor probably won't be around until Monday.
Hospital = more time off work = less pay = facing foreclosure again = bills being shut off = no where to live.
No hospital = death.
I'm balancing my options. Not really sure if one outweighs the other or not at this point. I just know that I'm tired. Like really, really tired. Funny how God sends a great, caring person into my life to save me, just to have me die weeks before the operation. How crazy is that? lol. That is so like my luck. :D